With a history steeped in Crusade-era torture, inescapable confinement and unbreakable abstinence; chastity devices have endured through the centuries, starting out as instruments designed to punish impure thoughts and enforce genital control (women’s genitals in particular), to now being used as modern-day playthings appealing to people who get excited by the idea of having their sexual urges and genital wellbeing dictated by a dominant other.
However, more often than not in this century, it’s men’s genitals being subjected to police-state levels of control; oh my, how times have changed.
What is a chastity device?
Polite notice: wherever possible we have tried to avoid using gender-fixed terms.
A chastity device is a piece of equipment people use to engage in a sexual activity commonly referred to as ‘chastity-play’.
A fuller explanation of what chastity-play is can be found further down, however, one of its basic aims is to prevent the person wearing the chastity device from using their genitals for any sort of sexual release, hence why a lot of chastity devices look like mini jail cells.
Worn around the genital area, chastity devices will usually look like:
A cage-looking enclosure for the penis and testicles, requiring the flaccid penis to be placed inside an enclosure that is connected to a large ring that encircles both the penis and the testicles (nestling just behind the scrotum). The enclosure and the ring are inseparable as they are padlocked together. They will not be able to escape.
A typical vaginal chastity belt looks like (and often is) an impenetrable pair of underwear (and not the skimpy kind), design-wise identical to the devices used in Crusade/Medieval times.
Despite the majority of chastity devices broadly resembling the above, there will be a lot of style variation to choose from (some penis enclosures feature thin prison cell bars that show a lot of flesh, other enclosures will be solid sheaths concealing the entire penis).
Users can also pick from a variety of materials; if purchasing a device to make a penis inaccessible, common materials used are metal, polycarbonate (plastic) and silicone (not the smooth kind found on upscale vibrators, more rubbery in texture).
When it comes to vaginal chastity devices, the most commonly used materials will be metal, leather or a leatherette fabric (often vaginal chastity devices primarily made from leather will include metal features and visa versa).
What is chastity-play? And why do people wear chastity devices?
Chastity-play is BDSM, pure and simple. Even if you’re not into being tied-up or using gimp masks, you’re part of the BDSM family by virtue of you getting sexual kicks from your or someone else’s genitals being put into a state of … (say it with me) bondage.
Mental and emotional factors aside, when stripped down to a mere physical act, chastity-play is someone allowing their genitals to be put inside a device that makes physical sexual pleasure impossible (intercourse, oral, masturbation, everything!). The device is secured to the wearer’s intimate bits in such a way that it can only be removed by unlocking the padlock that’s keeping the device’s various parts linked together. There’s just one problem …
… The wearer doesn’t have the key. And the person in possession of the key is in no rush to release them anytime soon, despite the unfortunate sod whose genitals are imprisoned becoming sexually frustrated with every passing hour, day, and week (if vastly experienced).
Restricting them from…
Chastity-play is almost always conducted between two people (a key-holder and a chaste-subject) but there are no fixed rules, it’s not unknown for a key-holder to be responsible for multiple chaste-subjects, and there have been a few examples of a solitary chaste-subject having multiple key-holders (almost like a prisoner and parole board scenario).
The person wearing the chastity device is commonly referred to as the Submissive (‘Sub’ for short). The person in possession of the key is often referred to as the Dominant (‘Dom’ for short) or the key-holder. Even the terms ‘Prisoner’ and ‘Warden’ are appropriate if there is a prison element that underpins this sexual pursuit.
Why do people wear chastity devices?
For obvious reasons, we don’t have access to customers (and readers) innermost thoughts, so while the more neurotic motivations behind chastity-play is beyond the scope of this ‘guide to …’, we can get into the more commonly cited reasons for chastity-play’s success.
The Dominant and Submissive relationship:
A more complex relationship than the nametags imply, but on one level it is a case of ‘I’m the boss, do what I say’. Or, as one Sub puts it: “I find it very hot when my wife wears the key on a necklace or bracelet.
Every time I see it, I’m reminded that she’s in charge.” (Reference 1)
Naturally, some Dom’s are sexually fulfilled by being in control of another person’s sex life, other Dom’s might not necessarily find it sexually satisfying but do find great reward in knowing that their Sub is loving every minute of being under their thumb (even during moments when on the surface it might not seem that way).
Chastity-play is just one of many ways a Dom and a Sub can use to show their appreciation for the relationship they have with each other.
Whilst there is a difference between abstaining from sex and being denied sex, one thing unites the two concepts: if you’re wearing the chastity device, the idea of you having sex is wishful thinking.
One of the biggest attractions to having your genitals under lock-n-key is no matter how horny you get, that urge to do something sexual – even if it becomes the mother of all cravings – will have to go unfulfilled. Making the Sub’s plight more agonising is they can’t even fall-back on masturbation to get them through these tough times. They’re utterly helpless.
Some Dom’s might be extra mean to their Sub by being the ultimate cock or clit tease, dressing sexily, masturbating in front of them. There’s nothing in the rule book that says the Dom can’t have orgasms.
No sex means no sex, well, not until the Dom feels their Sub deserves some … they might have to wait a while.
The big bang after wearing a chastity device:
Only the Dom will know how sex-starved their Sub has been and how close the Sub came to getting a rollicking from their boss for being distracted at their job (as what was being denied to them began to pervade every waking moment).
But as night invariably follows day, the kink of sex-denial eventually leads to another huge perk that comes with chastity-play.
When the Dom finally releases the Sub from their chaste-state and treats them to ‘the works’, the Sub’s long-awaited first orgasm is going to be explosive, feeling sweeter than a glass of water after a life-n-death journey through the desert, truly an experience to be savored.
24 hours a day with a cock cage:
Once the Sub gets used to wearing a chastity device, it’s unlikely the Dom will allow their Sub out of the chastity device just because the Sub has to go to work.
So unless the Sub has the luxury of working from home, they will be taking this fetish outside. Only it’s riskier than toying around with vibrating love eggs in public (like some couples do), the egg can be turned off, the chastity device remains locked at all times.
Further down is advice on how to correctly measure yourself for a chastity device and other information you may find useful, but to get your creative juices flowing take a look at a small selection of the penile chastity devices on offer at Pulse & Cocktails.
Men’s chastity devices
Suitable for all chastity-players, particularly beginners; this model not only features a pee-hole but its birdcage design means there is plenty of ventilation. With a lot of flesh on show, it’s easy for new Dom’s and Sub’s to check on the latter’s penis (health and safety) while keeping it under strict lock-n-key.
- Curved penis enclosure with ‘birdcage’ bars design.
- Attaches to the base ring by padlock (provided).
- Pee-hole and offers plenty of ventilation.
- Made from body-safe metal.
Suitable for all chastity-players, particularly beginners; features a pee-hole and due to this cage’s window-box design, the penis enclosure ensures plenty of ventilation. Like the Curved Chastity Cage (see above), because a lot of the Sub’s penis is on display, both the Dom and Sub can easily check on the condition of the Sub’s penis (health and safety).
- Near-straight penis enclosure (the faintest of curves).
- Attaches to the base ring by padlock (provided).
- Pee-hole and offers plenty of ventilation.
- Made from body-safe metal.
A pee-hole and some ventilation for the tip is all the luxury this cage offers. The main portion of the penis enclosure (the shaft) is all metal-no show; no bars to see the Sub’s shaft, offers limited ventilation.
Suitable for all chastity-players, however, we do advise beginners still getting used to chastity-play to start with a cage that allows Dom’s and Subs to inspect the penis instantly (see the previous two models).
- Curved penis enclosure with plain design that hides the shaft.
- Attaches to the base ring by padlock (provided).
- Pee-hole and metal bar feature allows ventilation for the tip of the penis.
How to measure yourself for a chastity device?
If you’re intending on wearing a chastity device for an extended period of time, it needs to be comfortable. Being denied access to your genitals can get frustrating and yes, there will be moments where you’re briefly uncomfortable when performing a certain movement (or getting an erection), but on the whole, chastity-play should not be painful.
If shopping for a vaginal chastity device, the only measurement you need to consider is the size of the waist belt. If shopping for a chastity device designed to encase a penis and a set of testicles, there are three measurements you need to get right:
- The base ring (aka the cuff ring), wraps around the penis and the testicles.
- The size of the penis.
- The girth of the penis.
The base ring (testicles)
If the base ring is too loose then the Sub may be able to slip out of it, if it’s too tight they risk restricting blood flow and causing an injury. (Reference 2)
Get a tape measure, the soft and flimsy kind that a dressmaker would use.
Wrap the tape measure around the penis and testicles; place the tape measure just above the base of the shaft and lay it flat against your pubic region in a way where it touches both your pubic region and ever-so-slightly the top of the penis.
Then, wrap the tape measure around and behind the testicles before going full circle and arriving back at your pubic region/base of the shaft.
You must be flaccid the entire time, stop if you feel yourself becoming erect and if it helps, think unsexy thoughts.
Don’t rush out and buy a chastity device yet, take your measurement to the local DIY/hardware store and buy some cheap metal rings (curtain rings or similar). Get a ring as close to your measurement as possible, also get the following sizes: fractionally smaller than your measurement, fractionally bigger than your measurement, and then a ring that’s even bigger than the last ring. By fractions, we’re only talking 5mm’s or so. Some might think this part is unnecessary, but a lot of people have purchased an ill-fitting device based on their ‘ideal size’ base ring measurement. (Reference 3)
Wear this ring as if it’s a base ring; walk around, go about your day. Obviously, remove the ring immediately if it becomes painful, but the goal of this exercise is to find a base ring that you can wear throughout the day with the negligible-to-no inconvenience (we strongly recommend applying lubricant to both the ring and your genitals prior to wearing the ring).
The penis enclosure – length
Get a ruler and measure your flaccid penis, from the base to the end of the tip. Some have found this measurement to be more accurate when measuring the underside of the penis.
Perform this measurement three or four times throughout the day to get an average, for a number of reasons a flaccid penis can vary in size.
The penis enclosure – girth
Using the same flimsy dressmaker’s tape measure you used to measure the base ring, wrap it around the shaft of your flaccid penis. Perform this three or four times throughout the day for the same reason you measure the length multiple times.
Cross-reference this measurement by measuring the diameter of your shaft using a ruler, rest your penis on the ruler. Then do the following sum: the diameter x 3.14 = the circumference (the girth).
Finding the right chastity device
We advise beginners to choose a device with a pee-hole and a style that shows a generous amount of flesh; not only does this allow plenty of ventilation, reducing the amount of cleaning required to keep things hygienic down there, it also means both Dom and Sub can inspect the Sub’s penis and make sure that little nip or pinch they felt isn’t something more serious.
Size-wise, we also advise beginners to try and get a penis enclosure where the tip of the penis is touching the tip of the cage. It might seem impressive if the Sub’s penis looks as if it’s about to burst out the cage but that means it’s a compressed fit and the skin is unable to breathe. (Reference 4)
Aim for a tight fit, but not so tight that the penis is unable to move inside the enclosure a little bit.
How to safely use a chastity device?
Understandably, beginners tend to think one of their primary safety concerns will be something along the lines of losing the key (fear not, most chastity devices have a spare key, sometimes two spares), but a more common hazard is poor hygiene. In fact, many (now) experienced, happy chastity-players often remark how much effort is required to keep both cock and cage clean. (Reference 5)
How to clean your chastity device.
Here are some key-pointers for maintaining a good standard of hygiene, essential for enjoyable chastity-play:
The Sub needs to trim their pubes. Beginners should be clean-shaven down below, not until they get used to wearing a chastity device.
The Sub should ensure their genitals are as clean as possible before entering the cage (as should the cage).
The Sub will need to clean their genitals and the cage every day to reduce the risk of catching a bacterial infection (whether the Dom releases the Sub for this task needs to be discussed beforehand … normally the Sub has to perform this task while still locked inside the cage).
The Sub may need to use cotton buds to clean those hard to reach bits.
The Sub cannot rely on air-drying their genitals and the cage, certainly not for those hard-to-reach areas. It is recommended you use a hairdryer on a low setting.
Most chastity-players find it easier to pee sitting down. Also, if the pee-hole’s aren’t in perfect alignment and things get messy at least most of the urine still goes in the toilet bowl (if things do get messy, chances are the Sub will have to clean their genitals and the cage afterward).
Go slow at first, a few hours at a time
We don’t advise beginners to wear their chastity device for very long when starting out, not until they get used to how it feels being locked-up down there and can go about their everyday activities with little or no inconvenience caused.
Some experienced chastity-players found that when they were starting out they couldn’t sleep at night whilst wearing their device, so they removed it. Rest assured, once the device became a part of their everyday uniform, they were able to wear it 24/7 (Reference 6), but the important thing is, both Dom and Sub built up to it and didn’t put too much pressure on themselves to be world experts straight away.
In the event of a Sub needing an immediate release from their cage, it’s wise for Dom and Sub to discuss the following:
Commonly used across BDSM, make the safe word totally unrelated to what you’re doing so there is no doubt in the Dom’s mind their Sub wants to stop. Umbrella, Tunisia, microwave … you get the idea.
In a sexual environment where some people find pleasure, where others would feel pain and being chained-up, can equate to liberation for the soul rather than a human rights violation, don’t make your safe word or phrase something confusing like ‘no more’ ‘please stop’ ‘no, I really-really don’t like this anymore’.
Spare key for your chastity device:
What happens if the Dom is working away from home when the Sub needs to be instantly released from their cage?
The Sub should know where the spare key (or keys) are kept. Whether the Sub has direct access to the key is to be agreed by Dom and Sub beforehand (maybe the spare key is kept with a close friend who lives nearby).
Okay, the chastity device is on, what happens now?
Anything, apart from the Sub being able to use their genitals for anything sexual. If they’re used to frequent sex it probably won’t be long before withdrawal symptoms kick-in, could take days, if the Sub is particularly weak several hours even.
As for the Dom, they’re under no obligation to make sex-denial easy for the Sub; dress provocatively, let them hear you masturbate in the other room, better yet – masturbate in front of them. Sit down for a nice movie and without telling the Sub, stick a porn film on.
When it’s plain to see the Sub is desperate to be released, some Dom’s take advantage of this by getting the Sub to do those odd-jobs they promised to do a while back. In exchange for freedom, some Dom’s will demand more oral sex from their Sub than they’re used to … and then go back on their word.
Locked up and cuckolded
Finally, who says the Dom’s sex life has to stop just because their Sub is all caged-up? Some chastity-play couples engage in the ultimate sex-denial tease, cuckolding.
Traditionally, cuckolding is where a wife is regularly unfaithful to her deadbeat excuse for a husband who’s not only the laughing stock of his own house but half the village too. This scenario often appears in porn movies, where the husband or boyfriend is in the same room, having to watch their wife/girlfriend have sex with ‘a real man’.
Now, we admit the act of a Sub watching (or hearing) their Dom have sex with another person can seem extreme to some couples. But, this is one of the racier fantasies some couples act-out (emphasis on the ‘some’ not all). It’s not for everybody, and if it’s an idea that turns you off then the solution is simple, don’t do it and if necessary have plenty of discussions about it with your partner; non-judgemental, honest communication is key. Like everything sex-related, chastity-play is meant to bring couples closer together, not drive them apart.
Lastly, if cuckolding sounds like your cup of tea, make the third person aware of what’s going on as not everybody considers sex a spectator sport.
Medium; Cock Cage 101: The Search For The Ultimate Male Chastity Belt, written by Dainis Graveris, 16th April 2019.
https://medium.com/@dainis/cock-cage-a9610c2e7cc6 Reference 1
Cara Sutra; The Ruffled Sheets Beginners’ Guide to Male Chastity Play, written by Cara Sutra, 6th June 2014.
https://carasutra.com/2014/06/the-ruffled-sheets-beginners-guide-to-male-chastity-play/ References 2, 4
Lovense; The Massive Guide To Male Chastity Cages – Learn To Lock The Cock, written by Robyn (no last name given, no publishing date given.
https://www.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/chastity-cage Reference 3
Vice; Why These Guys Put Their Dicks in Cages, written by Zak Krevitt and Thomas McCarty, 9th January 2017.
https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/8qgp53/why-these-guys-put-their-dicks-in-cages References 5, 6