How to Suggest a Sex Toy Without Making it Awkward!

Suggesting a sex toy to your partner can feel like navigating a tricky conversation. You don’t want to come off as critical or make things weird, but you also want to explore new experiences together. So, how do you bring it up without creating awkward tension? The good news is that you can talk about sex toys in a way that feels exciting, natural, and even brings you closer.

Let’s dive into how you can suggest sex toys—like beginner sex toys, vibrating cock rings, or sex toys for couples—without it being awkward. Trust me, it’s easier than you think!

1. Normalise the Conversation Around Sex

Why Does it Feel Awkward?

Let’s face it—talking about sex can feel weird because we aren’t used to doing it openly. Growing up, most of us didn’t have open conversations about pleasure or sexual exploration. That silence can carry over into our relationships, making even the thought of bringing up sex toys nerve-wracking.

But here’s the thing: sex is a natural part of life and relationships. And so is pleasure! If we can normalise these conversations, introducing the idea of sex toys becomes a whole lot easier.

Start With What You Enjoy

A great way to introduce the idea of sex toys is to start with what you already enjoy about your sexual connection. You don’t need to jump right into, “Hey, let’s try a vibrating cock ring!” Instead, talk about what feels good for both of you and what you’re curious about trying.

For example, one time I brought up the idea of using a toy after we had a really good conversation about our favourite moments in bed. I casually mentioned that I’d heard about this toy that could make those moments even better, and the conversation naturally flowed from there. Talking about pleasure first sets the stage for open, comfortable communication.

2. Timing is Everything

Don’t Bring It Up During Sex

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is suggesting a sex toy in the heat of the moment. This can create pressure or make your partner feel like what’s happening isn’t enough. You want to introduce the idea when both of you are relaxed and not in the middle of something intimate.

Instead, pick a calm, comfortable moment—like after a date night, during a cosy weekend afternoon, or even over breakfast. The more relaxed the environment, the less awkward it will feel.

Find a Natural Opening

Another way to avoid making it weird is to find a natural opening in conversation. Let’s say you’re watching a show or movie where a character mentions a sex toy. That’s a perfect segue! You can ask your partner what they think about it or share something you’ve been curious about.

For instance, my partner and I were listening to a podcast where the hosts were talking about trying a new toy. I casually asked, “Hey, have you ever thought about trying something like that?” It was a non-threatening way to start the conversation, and we ended up having a great chat about it.

3. Frame it as a Fun and Exciting Experience

It’s About Exploration, Not Fixing Anything

One of the most important things to remember is that sex toys are about adding fun to your relationship, not fixing something that’s broken. When you bring up the idea of a sex toy, make sure it’s clear that you’re not suggesting it because your current sex life isn’t good enough. Instead, present it as a way to explore new experiences together.

You could say something like, “I’ve been reading about beginner sex toys, and it sounds like a fun way to spice things up and try something new together.” This frames it as a mutual adventure and takes the pressure off.

Suggest It as a Way to Spice Things Up

Another way to keep things light is to suggest it as a way to add excitement and variety to your sex life. Mention that sex toys for couples can be an awesome way to try new sensations without taking away from what you already enjoy.

For example, vibrating cock rings are designed to add pleasure for both partners, and they’re beginner-friendly. You might say, “I heard about vibrating cock rings—apparently, they can make everything more intense for both of us. What do you think about trying one?” This keeps the focus on mutual pleasure rather than anything that needs to be fixed.

4. Use Humor to Keep It Light

Lighten the Mood with Laughter

If you’re feeling nervous about bringing up sex toys, using humour can be a lifesaver. Sometimes, a well-timed joke or playful comment can diffuse any tension and make the conversation feel more relaxed. You might say something like, “So… I was thinking about bringing some tech into the bedroom. No, not a new TV—more like a toy!” It’s lighthearted, but it gets the point across.

I remember when I first suggested using a toy, I made a joke about needing “backup” because, well, why not make the conversation fun? We both laughed, which made the idea less intimidating.

Be Playful and Curious

Approach the conversation with curiosity and playfulness rather than making it a serious discussion. You could say something like, “I was reading about some cool toys that couples can use together. Would you be open to trying something new and seeing what we like?”

This shows that you’re not taking it too seriously and that you’re open to experimenting without any expectations. Plus, playfulness naturally leads to a more relaxed, less awkward vibe.

5. Be Ready for Any Response

What to Do If They’re Excited About It

If your partner responds positively, awesome! Celebrate that openness and make it a fun experience to explore together. You can start browsing for toys together, which is a great way to bond and get excited about what’s to come. Try looking for beginner sex toys if you’re both new to it, or check out vibrating cock rings and other toys that are designed for couples.

Pro tip: Make a date night out of it! Order some takeout, cuddle up, and spend time looking through online stores to find something you both feel excited about.

How to Handle Hesitation

On the flip side, if your partner seems unsure or hesitant, that’s okay too. It doesn’t mean the idea is a no-go; they might just need more time to warm up to it. In this case, let them know you’re not pushing the idea and that you’re happy to revisit the conversation whenever they feel comfortable.

You could say something like, “No pressure at all! I just thought it could be fun, but we don’t have to do anything unless we’re both excited about it.” This reassures your partner that their comfort is a priority.

If They Say No

If your partner says they’re not into the idea, respect that boundary without taking it personally. Everyone has different comfort levels, and that’s totally fine. You can say something like, “I completely respect that. The most important thing is that we both feel good about what we’re doing together.”

Remember, just having the conversation is a step toward better communication and trust in your relationship. Even if the answer is no, you’ve opened the door to more honest conversations about sex, which is a win in itself.

6. Start Small and Keep It Simple

Beginner-Friendly Options

If you and your partner are new to sex toys, starting with beginner sex toys is a great idea. These are typically non-intimidating, easy to use, and designed to enhance what you already enjoy. For example, you could try a small vibrator, a vibrating cock ring, or even a sensual couples’ massager. These toys add extra pleasure without feeling overwhelming.

You can suggest starting with something simple, saying, “How about we try something small and see how we like it? We can always explore more options later.”

Build Up Gradually

The great thing about introducing sex toys is that there’s no rush. You can take your time and gradually explore different things together. Start with one toy, see how it feels, and decide from there if you want to try more. The key is that both of you feel comfortable and excited to explore together.

Conclusion

Suggesting a sex toy to your partner doesn’t have to be awkward at all. By approaching the conversation with openness, curiosity, and a little bit of humour, you can introduce the idea in a way that feels fun and natural. Whether you’re curious about beginner sex toys or ready to dive into something like a vibrating cock ring, the most important thing is that you’re exploring together.

So, go ahead—start the conversation! You might be surprised at how easy and exciting it can be to bring a new element of pleasure into your relationship.