The Ultimate Guide to Strap-Ons: Types, Harnesses, Dildos & How to Use Them

Curious about strap-ons but not sure where to start?

You’re not alone. Strap-ons are one of the most versatile, misunderstood, and quietly popular pleasure tools out there — used by people of all genders, orientations, and experience levels.

Whether you’re brand new, doing research before buying, or simply looking to expand your bedroom repertoire, this guide will walk you through everything you need to know — without awkwardness, judgement, or pressure.

Think of this as your no-nonsense, sex-positive strap-on handbook.

What Is a Strap-On?

A strap-on is a wearable sex toy that allows the wearer to penetrate a partner (or use it solo). Most strap-ons are made up of two key components:

• A harness, worn around the waist and hips
• A dildo, held securely at the front

Some strap-ons come as complete sets, while others let you mix and match parts depending on comfort, body shape, and experience level.

If you want a deeper beginner breakdown, you can explore this in more detail here:

→ Strap-On 101: Everything You Need to Know Before You Strap In

Why Do People Use Strap-Ons?

There’s no single reason — and that’s what makes them so popular.

People use strap-ons for:
• Pleasure and sensation
• Pegging and prostate play
• Exploring power dynamics or role reversal
• Adding penetration without relying on a penis
• Building intimacy and trust
• Trying something new together

Strap-ons aren’t about replacing anything — they’re about expanding what pleasure can look like.

Strap-On Sets vs Building Your Own

When shopping for a strap-on, you’ll usually see two main options.

Strap-On Sets

These typically include a harness and one or more compatible dildos.

Great for:
• Beginners
• Easy compatibility
• Lower decision fatigue

Build-Your-Own Strap-On

This approach lets you choose the harness and dildo separately.

Great for:
• Custom fit and comfort
• Swapping dildos over time
• Long-term versatility

Both options are valid — the best choice depends on your confidence and preferences.

Strap-On Harnesses: Finding the Right Fit

The harness is the foundation of your entire experience. A good one should feel secure, comfortable, and supportive.

Common harness styles include:
• Adjustable strap or jock-style harnesses
• Brief or underwear-style harnesses

Key things to consider:
• Adjustability
• Comfort around hips and thighs
• Stability during movement
• O-ring compatibility

For a full buying guide, fit tips, and style breakdown, head here:
→ How to Choose the Perfect Strap-On Harness: A Complete Buying Guide

Strap-On Dildos: Size, Shape & Material

Choosing a dildo for strap-on play is slightly different from choosing one for solo use.

Things to think about:
• Size (starting smaller is often best)
• Firmness (medium-firm offers better control)
• Base style (flared or suction bases work best with harnesses)
• Material safety and comfort

Material plays a huge role in sensation and hygiene, which we cover in depth here:
→ What’s the Best Material for Your Strap-On Dildo? A No-Nonsense Breakdown

Hollow Strap-Ons & Hollow Dildos Explained

Hollow strap-ons are designed with space inside, allowing them to be worn over a penis or used in specific harness setups.

They’re often chosen for:
• Accessibility and comfort
• Penetrative play without relying on erections
• Feeling more connected during strap-on sex

Fit and material matter more here than with solid dildos.

Learn more here:
→ Hollow Strap-Ons: Everything You Need to Know
→ Why Hollow Dildos Are a Game-Changer for Strap-On Play

Pegging & Strap-On Play for Beginners

Pegging is one of the most common reasons people explore strap-ons — but it’s also one that comes with nerves, questions, and myths.

Key beginner tips:
• Talk openly before trying anything
• Use plenty of lubricant
• Start slow and let the receiver guide pace
• Choose comfortable, beginner-friendly toys

If you’re new to pegging or want reassurance before trying it, this guide is a great place to start:
→ Pegging for Beginners: How to Try Strap-On Play with Confidence

Strap-Ons, Power & Intimacy

For some people, strap-ons are about physical pleasure. For others, they tap into confidence, role exploration, or power dynamics — and sometimes all three.

Strap-ons can support:
• Role reversal
• Playful or gentle power exchange
• Emotional closeness and trust
• Breaking out of sexual routines

This doesn’t have to be intense or kinky unless you want it to be.

Explore this side of strap-on play here:
→ Exploring Power Dynamics: Why People Use Strap-Ons Beyond Physical Pleasure

Strap-Ons Aren’t Just for Penetration

One of the biggest misconceptions about strap-ons is that penetration is the only way to use them.

In reality, strap-ons can be used for:
• Grinding and rubbing
• External stimulation
• Teasing and anticipation
• Sensual, intimate play

This can be especially helpful for beginners or anyone wanting to reduce pressure.

More ideas here:
→ How to Use Strap-Ons for Intimate, Non-Penetrative Play

Cleaning, Care & Toy Safety

Proper cleaning keeps strap-on play safe, comfortable, and stress-free.

Basic rules:
• Clean after every use
• Separate dildo and harness for cleaning
• Follow care instructions by material
• Allow everything to dry fully before storing

For a full, step-by-step care guide, read:
→ How to Clean Your Strap-On and Harness: The Ultimate Care Guide

Common Strap-On Myths (Let’s Clear These Up)

Strap-ons don’t:
• Define your gender or sexuality
• Mean you’re unhappy with your sex life
• Require experience to enjoy
• Have to involve dominance or kink

Curiosity is normal, and exploration is healthy.

If you’ve ever hesitated because of assumptions, this myth-busting guide helps unpack them:
→ 5 Common Myths About Strap-On Play (Busted!)

Final Thoughts: Strap-Ons Are About Choice

There’s no “right” way to use a strap-on.

Some people love them.
Some people are just curious.
Some people use them occasionally.

All of that is valid.

The best strap-on experience comes from:
• Open communication
• Comfort-first choices
• A sense of humour
• Permission to explore at your own pace

And if you’re here, reading this? You’re already doing it right.