The Sock-Drawer Era: I Bought My First Male Sex Toy — and Hid It.

It’s at the back of the drawer.

Behind the odd socks. The broken watch. That charging cable from a phone I don’t even own anymore.

I know it’s there. Nobody else does.

I’ve just bought my first sex toy. A masturbator — since I’m not pretending it’s anything else — and I’ve used it once.

I liked it.

More than I expected, actually.

And now I’ve hidden it like it’s evidence.

I’m standing in my bedroom, closing a drawer like I’ve done something slightly criminal.

Not gonna lie… that part feels ridiculous.

But I still do it.

How the Shame Gets Installed

I’m thinking back to school.

Sex ed is basically a slideshow nobody wants to sit through.

Reproduction. Diseases. Don’t be weird.

That’s about it.

Nobody talks about pleasure. Definitely not men’s pleasure. The closest we get is jokes — loud ones — covering the fact none of us really know what we’re doing.

Masturbation is… fine. Technically.

But it’s treated like something private. Slightly embarrassing. Something you don’t build a conversation around.

And toys?

Not for blokes like me.

I don’t remember deciding that. I just… absorb it.

Same as most of us, I reckon.

So now I’m stood here, mid-thirties, hiding something completely normal because part of my brain still thinks I’m not supposed to have it.

The Long Game: Relationships, Routine, and Saying Nothing

I’m with Charlie.

We’re good. Solid. Comfortable.

But things have… flattened a bit.

Life gets busy. Work drags on. Evenings blur together. Sex becomes something that happens, not something we think about.

And I don’t say anything.

Not because I don’t trust her.

Because I don’t want to sound like I don’t know what I’m doing.

That’s the bit I don’t admit out loud.

It’s easier to stay quiet than risk looking unsure.

So I say nothing.

And quietly, I start Googling things instead.

The First Purchase

It wasn’t a big moment. No sudden bravery. I came across an article online — not laddish, not clinical, just a normal piece about men and pleasure and sex toys.

It treated the whole thing like a reasonable adult choice.

Which, obviously, it is. But I’d never seen it framed that way before.

I spent three days with a tab open.

Added something to a basket.

Removed it.

Added it again.

Told myself I was just looking.

Anyway. I nearly closed the tab.

I didn’t. I bought a masturbator — a decent one, nothing complicated — and it arrived in packaging so plain it looked like a phone accessory. I was relieved by that. Which tells you everything about where my head was.

Here’s the honest part: it was good. Really good.

Better than I expected, which, given my expectations were basically zero, maybe isn’t saying much.

But still. It wasn’t seedy.

It wasn’t sad.

It was just a product that did what it said it would.

And then I hid it in the sock drawer.

Not because I thought it was wrong

I knew it wasn’t wrong.

I hid it because I was terrified of what someone else might think.

Charlie.

My mates.

Anyone who might open that drawer one day.

The sock drawer was the symbol I hadn’t quite worked out yet.

I’m allowed pleasure. But only if nobody knows about it.

What Buying It Actually Means (Once I’m Honest)

It’s not about the toy.

Not really.

Buying it is the first time I’ve properly admitted to myself:

I’m allowed to be curious about this.

I’m allowed to try something without it meaning anything dramatic about who I am.

That sounds obvious when you say it out loud.

But in my head, it’s taken years to get there.

So — What Sex Toys for Men Should You Actually Try?

Since we’re being honest — and since you’ve read this far — here’s what I’d actually point you towards.

Not a product catalogue.

Just a genuine steer from someone who started at zero.

Start with a manual stroker.  Something like a basic masturbation sleeve. Low commitment. Easy to use. Easy to clean. Good if you want to try something without overthinking it.

Step up with a vibrating masturbator.  If you want more and you’re happy to spend more, a vibrating masturbator does more of the work. More settings, more sensation, more chance of figuring out what actually suits you.

Try a couples sex toy option when the time’s right.  A vibrating cock ring is the easiest way to bring something in together. Adds sensation for both of you. Inexpensive. Low stakes. Nobody has to be the one who made it a thing.

If you’d rather ask someone in person — our stores are good for that.

No raised eyebrows.

No fanfare.

Just useful advice from people who actually know what they’re talking about.

Frequently Asked Questions

You Don’t Have to Keep It in the Drawer

Here’s what I wish someone had told me.

It’s just a thing.

A normal, adult, well-made thing that a lot of men use without it meaning anything dramatic about who they are.

The shame was always in my head.

Not in the product. Not in the pleasure.

I wasted good years performing a nonchalance I didn’t feel. I’m not doing that anymore.

When you’re ready — a men’s sex toy range is a decent place to browse.

Or pop into a Pulse and Cocktails store and have a proper conversation with someone who won’t make it weird.

You might be surprised how straightforward it feels once you’re actually in the room.

The sock drawer is optional.

The rest of it is up to you.