I Used to Think Sex Toys Were for “Other People” – Then I Tried One
By Tom, 38
I never thought I’d be the kind of bloke to own a sex toy.
When I was younger, I thought toys were strictly for women; vibrators, bullets, all that stuff you see in hen party jokes or hidden in a mate’s girlfriend’s drawer. The idea of a man using a toy? In my head, that was something you only did if you were lonely, weird, or both.
Fast forward a couple of decades, a divorce, and a fair amount of self-reflection later… and here I am, telling you that I own not one, but three sex toys. And no, I don’t feel embarrassed. In fact, I wish I’d started sooner.
How I Got Over the “Toys Are Weird” Hurdle
Last year, I was stuck in a bit of a rut. My confidence wasn’t great, and to be honest, my sex drive was about as exciting as a Sunday service station sandwich.
I started reading up on men’s sexual health and stumbled across articles about prostate massagers. Every single one said the same thing: “You don’t know what you’re missing.”
At first, I laughed it off. But a part of me was curious. Why should pleasure be reserved for women or couples? Why was I so convinced I wasn’t “allowed” to explore my own body?
Eventually, after one too many whisky-fuelled Google deep-dives, I decided to go for it. I ordered a small beginner’s prostate massager. It arrived in discreet packaging (thank god), and I nearly chickened out opening it.
My First Time Using A Sex Toy
I won’t lie: the first time was awkward. I spent half an hour reading the instructions and googling “how to use a prostate toy without ending up in A&E.”
But once I actually relaxed and gave it a proper go, something clicked. I realised I’d been missing out on a whole new dimension of pleasure. The experience wasn’t seedy or weird. It was personal. Empowering, even.
That was the moment I stopped viewing sex toys as some desperate last resort, and started seeing them as what they really are: tools. Tools to learn about your body. Tools to boost confidence. Tools to explore without shame.
Why I Think More Men Should Try Sex Toys
We love our gadgets, we’ll happily buy the latest £200 headphones or a smart toothbrush with five settings. But mention a toy for your own pleasure? Radio silence.
Since starting, I’ve tried a vibrating ring and a stroker sleeve as well. Each one feels different, and each one taught me something new about what I actually enjoy.
If you’re a bloke reading this and still feeling a bit “nah, that’s not for me,” I get it. But I promise you: it’s worth trying. Even if it feels silly at first. Even if you never tell a soul.
Tom’s Toy Tips for First-Timers
✅ Start small. Don’t go straight to the biggest or most advanced toy you see online. A beginner’s prostate toy or a simple ring is a solid start.
✅ Use lube. And more lube than you think you’ll need. Trust me.
✅ Go slow. There’s no rush. The point is to explore, not “finish” in record time.
✅ Check out reputable shops. Like Pulse & Cocktails — discreet packaging, proper advice, and no weird neon signs.
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