How to Discuss Bondage With Your Partner

How you discuss any sexual activity with a partner is important. Opening up a discussion in a way which is positive, sexy, and comfortable will open up new opportunities for fun in the bedroom. Want to discuss bondage with your partner? We’re here to help you open up the conversation around bondage, what it involves, and how to introduce it into your relationship.

A Short intro to Bondage

At its core, bondage refers to a sexual play that involves consensually restraining a partner for sexual pleasure. Restraining can be done in many different ways depending on the experience both players want to have.

Generally (but not always), bondage will involve a ‘submissive’ and a ‘dominant’. This simply means one partner will consent to be restrained and the other will do the restraining. These roles are not set, however, and many choose to swap roles each session, or even during one.

So why do people like it?

There are many reasons a person may enjoy being restrained, the feelings and emotions felt during the experience are unique to each individual. But some common sensations might be:

• Enjoyment of giving/gaining control over another person.
• Feelings of trust and confidence in a partner.
• Heightening of senses.

Believe it or not, 60% of the UK population have tried bondage, proving there must be lots to be enjoyed about the sexy art of restraining.

How to talk to your partner about bondage

Introducing anything new into a relationship can be tricky. Explaining to a partner that you want them to tie you up and have their way with you might be a bit much for someone unaware of what bondage entails.

To make the conversation easier, go over these 3 points during your discussion:

1. It’s about trust

Even the lightest of bondage with a pair of simple handcuffs requires trust between two partners. There needs to be an understanding and agreed on safeword so that if one person becomes uncomfortable, the other can stop the situation immediately and remove any restraints.

Discussing beforehand what each of you is comfortable with will help set boundaries of trust and make the experience much more enjoyable. Remember to communicate during too, phrases such as ‘does this feel okay?’, and ‘do you want it tighter?’ show care and willingness to adapt to the situation so you both enjoy it.

2. Fantasies are a great place to start

If your partner is unsure about bondage, framing it in the context of a sexy role-play or fantasy situation can help lead them in the right direction.

The classic sexy cop and the caught criminal are popular because it has a universally known narrative anyone can follow. The cop handcuffs the criminal and tells them to get on their knees. This is a perfect starting point for bondage as you both can choose a role, and get comfortable in character without overthinking about the restraining part.

3. Types of bondage

If your partner is keen on the idea, then you should go ahead and talk about what kind you are both into and want to explore. Great starting points are:

Binding – Taking away your partner’s use of their limbs with rope, cuffs, or other restraints.

Sensory deprivation – Taking away one of your partner’s senses to heighten the others. For example, blindfolds remove their sight, gags remove their ability to speak.

Furniture – Using a specially designed sex swing, chair, or other furniture to keep your partner in place.

Beginner’s Guide to Bondage and Beyond