How a Sex Toy Nearly Ruined Our Night — And How Shopping Together Fixed Everything

Alex and Jen have been together for nine years.

They’ve been through everything: job stress, family chaos, late-night kebab runs, the whole lot. But somewhere along the way, sex slipped into a routine. Not bad,  just… expected. Comfortable.

Alex thought he had the perfect plan to bring back the spark. Spoiler: it didn’t go quite how he imagined.

Alex’s Side

I thought I was doing something bold. A grand gesture, you know?

I started noticing we were both a bit… switched off. We’d still have sex, but it felt like we were playing the same playlist on repeat.

I wanted to surprise Jen. So I ordered a vibrator online one night after a couple of beers. I didn’t overthink it. In my head, it was going to be this big, sexy moment.

When it arrived, I felt weirdly proud. I handed her the box like it was a diamond necklace. She opened it, and… she went really quiet.

I could tell straight away it wasn’t landing how I’d imagined. She gave me this polite smile, but I could see her brain spinning: “What is this? Why now? Did we talk about this?”

We tried it that night, and honestly, it was awkward as hell. We both felt tense. I felt like I was performing, she looked like she was trying to enjoy it but really just wanted it to be over.

After that, the toy went straight into a drawer. We didn’t talk about it. I felt embarrassed. She felt distant. The whole thing sort of hung in the air.

A few weeks later, we were out shopping and passed a Pulse & Cocktails store. Jen made this offhand comment: “Maybe it would’ve been better if we’d actually gone in and picked something together.”

I don’t know why, but I just said, “Do you want to go in now?”

We ended up walking in, half-nervous, half-laughing. And it turned out to be the best thing we could’ve done.

Jen’s Side

When Alex handed me that toy, my stomach dropped.

I know he meant it as a nice surprise. But I wasn’t prepared and in all honesty the toy he chose just isn’t something I would have chosen myself; the size, colour, style – it all felt intimidating, not sexy. 

We’d never actually talked about toys before. Not properly. It felt like he’d made this huge decision for us, without me.

When we tried it, I felt awkward. Self-conscious. I was too busy worrying about whether he thought I was into it to actually enjoy anything. 

We left it at that,  shoved in a drawer, never mentioned again.

Then that day, when we passed the store, I made a joke about choosing together next time. I didn’t think he’d take it seriously. But when he said, “Let’s go in,” I was shocked.

Inside, everything felt different. There were other couples browsing, staff chatting without any weirdness. We actually talked about what we might like – sizes, shapes, even colours.

For the first time, I felt like I was part of it. We laughed, we teased each other, and I felt safe. By the time we left, it felt like we were already more connected,  before we’d even used anything.

That night, it was completely different. We were in it together. No pressure. No expectations. Just curiosity and fun. We discovered things about each other we’d never really asked before.

Thinking about trying a toy together? Visit a Pulse & Cocktails store or explore our couples range online →

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