Dear Santa, I’ve Been a Very Good Boy (Mostly)
By Tom
Dear Santa, Let’s Be Honest…
I’ve been a good boy this year.
Well… good-ish.
Good enough that I definitely deserve something fun in my stocking — and I don’t mean socks.
Every Christmas I end up with the same presents: shower gel, novelty boxers, and a mug with a joke my nan won’t understand.
This year, I’m campaigning for something more… useful.
Something a modern man actually wants: pleasure, confidence, and maybe a toy that doesn’t look like it came from a joke shop in 2006.
So, Santa — and anyone who loves a man — here are the gifts worth giving.
1. The “I’m Curious but Not Ready to Admit It” Starter Toy
There should be an entry-level toy for men who want to try something new without having a full existential crisis. Thankfully, there is: a soft silicone stroker.
Why it’s perfect:
- discreet
- no batteries
- feels ridiculously good
- zero intimidation factor
Pair it with a decent lube and you’ve basically given the man in your life the gift of a private spa day.
2. The “I Want to Upgrade My Solo Game” Toy
If he’s ready to level up, vibrating masturbators are life-changing.
Not dramatic. Just true.
They help with:
- stamina
- arousal control
- stronger orgasms
- a different type of sensation entirely
And no, they don’t replace hands.
They just make hands feel like they’ve suddenly unlocked a cheat code.
3. The Cock Ring (Trust Me on This One)
I know, I know — the name doesn’t help.
But a cock ring is one of the easiest, cheapest ways to boost confidence and intensity.
Benefits include:
- firmer erections
- longer-lasting sessions
- a big boost during couple play
- a genuinely great orgasm
Once a man tries one, he usually wonders why nobody told him sooner.
Explore: Cock Rings
4. The “We’re Having Fun Together” Gift
If you’re buying for a partner, go for a toy that benefits both of you.
A couple’s toy for men doesn’t have to be intimidating — think:
- a warming stroker
- a textured sleeve
- a discreet remote toy for teasing
- a duo kit with lube + toy + cleaner
It says: I want us to explore together, without saying: I bought this so you’d stop using your ancient laptop sock.
(We’ve all been there. Don’t ask.)
Search Christmas Gifts for Couples.
5. The Prostate Toy (A Gift for the Brave and Rewarded)
Look, I get it — this is the category where men immediately panic.
But prostate stimulation isn’t a joke or a stereotype.
It’s anatomy.
And the orgasms?
Well… let’s just say Santa doesn’t deliver anything that compares.
Beginner options are small, curved, and designed to be as unintimidating as possible.
Starter picks:Prostate Toys for Men
If he gets this gift, he’s either going to laugh… or thank you passionately later. Possibly both.
6. The Self-Care Bundle (Because Men Need Looking After Too)
Most men don’t treat themselves unless someone else forces them to.
A bundle with:
- toy cleaner
- lube
- a stroker
- a ring
- a storage bag
…is basically the “everything you secretly wanted but never knew how to ask for” kit.
It looks responsible.
It is responsible.
And it still makes them very, very happy.
Browse Christmas Gift Sets – everything you need in one bundle.
7. The “I Definitely Deserve This” Treat (For Yourself)
If you, like me, are writing your own Christmas list this year, make room for at least one toy that feels a little extra.
A premium stroker.
A rechargeable cup.
A dual-sensation device.
Something you’ve talked yourself out of three times because “it’s too indulgent.”
Christmas is literally built for indulgence.
Lean in.
Browse from hundreds of sex toys for men.
Why Male Toys Make Brilliant Gifts
Men pretend they don’t care about this stuff.
Most do.
Some just don’t know where to start.
A toy gives them:
- confidence
- better awareness of their body
- stress relief
- stronger orgasms
- fewer performance worries
- something fun in the darkest month of the year
Honestly?
It’s better than body wash.
Tom’s Final Note to Santa
I’ve tried hard this year.
I paid my bills on time (mostly).
I checked my balls in the shower like a responsible adult.
I even went to the gym once.
So please, no socks.
No mug that says “World’s Okayest Man.”
No more shower gel gift sets.
Give me something I’ll actually enjoy.
Give me pleasure, confidence, curiosity, and a reason to smile on Boxing Day.