Do you love your partner but you’ve found your sex life has become boring and monotonous? It turns out you’re not alone, according to research couples (especially women) start to lose interest in sex after just one year into a relationship (Salakey, 2017). That’s why introducing sex toys into your relationship can add some much needed excitement and adventure.
Let’s talk about one of the most amazing acts there is – sex. Great sex has been spreading joy and cheer ever since our cavemen ancestors were around, yet do you find your bedroom shenanigans have become a little boring and predictable? Are you finding that you and your partner are just doing the same sex positions over and over again?
As much as we all love the missionary position, having it every Sunday at 9 pm for an average of 4 minutes 36 seconds can become a little monotonous. Trying out new sex positions in the bedroom is an easy way to keep things exciting between you and your partner. New sex positions encourage you to keep an open mind underneath (or outside of) the sheets and when you offer your mind and body to your partner you build trust, intimacy and openness in your relationship
It’s the age-old question everyone wants to know, we’ve all heard about (and possibly experienced) the one-minute wonders and the stallion sex session, but how long should sex really last? Of course, our overall mood, how aroused we are and who our partner is makes a difference, but we can shed some light on averages for how long sex lasts before the grand finale.
How long should sex last?
Some Canadian and American sex therapists conducted research in 2008 to answer this question. Their research helped to define what is considered an adequate or desirable amount of time to have sex, and what people felt was too short or too long. A sexual encounter consists of much more than just penetrable sex (who doesn’t love being driven wild with some foreplay), but the numbers below refer to penetrative sex only.
It’s time to extend your spring clean to your favourite adult toys. With 48% of the UK’s population owning a sex toy, we’ve pulled together this complete guide to make sure your favourite adult toys are taken care of; after all, they take great care of us.
When you should clean your sex toys
You should clean your toys before and after use, it only takes a few minutes and not only will it help keep your toys hygienic, it’ll make sure you can enjoy your toys again and again.
The benefits of cleaning your sex toys
It is very important to keep your toys clean for a number of reasons:
1. It ensures your toys last for longer! Who doesn’t love that?
2. It removes the build-up of bacteria on the toy, reducing the risk of a yeast or bacterial infection making them safe to play with.
Congratulations! The next several months will be a time of growth (literally and figuratively), wonder and change.
Speaking of which… you’re probably already wondering about lifestyle changes. And that’s likely to include thinking about your sex life.
Sex during pregnancy is sex and it will strengthen the bond between you as a couple. Some women seem to want to have more sex during the first and second trimesters-although not usually the third (We hear you, the third trimester is difficult!)
We also know that as first-time mums and dads you might have a lot of questions. Is sex safe during pregnancy? Will the penis harm the baby? Can the baby feel sex? Is it okay to have an orgasm during pregnancy?
Hopefully we can clear some of those questions and concerns with our quick-fire FAQs to sex during pregnancy.
Can you still have sex during pregnancy?
Of course! Sex is safe during pregnancy. Unless your midwife has told you otherwise. Most women can carry on bonking until their water breaks or they go into labour!
How different is sex during pregnancy?
As your body changes, sex will be different. During pregnancy, your blood volume increases by about 40%. That not only swells your breast, but it also heightens sensitivity throughout all your erogenous zones. And that can mean more intense, even multiple, orgasms.
You’ll find your sex drive changes through your pregnancy – potentially disappearing in your first trimester when you’re tired and nauseate; getting livelier in your second trimester when high levels of hormones can send your libido through the stratosphere; then tapering off as your due date approaches and you feel achy, unwielding, and maybe even nervous about impending parenthood.
Will it hurt the baby?
This is undoubtedly the biggest wet blanket – the fear of hurting the baby. Research shows that somewhere between 50 and 80% of women worry about it. Dads do too. Let’s make this clear – sex doesn’t hurt the baby. The amniotic sac and muscles of the uterus and the mucus plug that seals the cervix protects against infection.
Don’t worry – the penis doesn’t go beyond the vagina so it won’t reach the baby. The baby is in the womb, up through the cervix. There’s no chance of it harming the baby.
Can sex during pregnancy cause a miscarriage?
Another massive fear is that sex will cause miscarriage. Sex doesn’t cause miscarriage. Even if your partner is well endowed, his penis will never reach the baby because the baby isn’t in the vagina. The baby is cocooned away in its own little impenetrable vault, within the strong walls of the uterus, behind the cervix and well cushioned by amniotic fluid.
I’ve had a low sex drive – is this normal?
There’s lots of individual experiences when it comes to sexual desire during pregnancy. Some women have heightened libido throughout pregnancy, others are less interested in sex. Both are normal. Your body is going through a lot of changes, both physically and hormonal changes. These play havoc with your libido.
The first couple of months of pregnancy can be very difficult for some women as it leads to tiredness, nausea, and irritability. In the second trimester, the libido returns as these symptoms decrease!
Communication is key. Communicate with your partner, reassure him that you’re still in love – you’ll find your partner will be understanding, you’re embarking on a wonderful journey together. Try to enjoy it!
What about my partners sex drive?
Since your partner might become anxious and doesn’t want to hurt you or the baby, pregnancy often makes him uncomfortable with intercourse. He will find you more attractive as you get curvier day by day.
The best thing to do here, is attend pre-natal appointments together, so he can be reassured by a professional.
Again – communicate. Talk freely with your partner and tell him your feelings. There are other ways to enjoy each other if you’re both not ready for sex.
Is oral sex safe?
Yes. Oral sex is safe. Again, due to those hormone changes, it’s normal for you to have a change in smell or taste down there during pregnancy. There’s elevated PH levels in your vagina – this can result in bouts of thrush, bacterial vaginosis and a change in your discharge (we’re sorry, that isn’t the perfect dirty talk you’ve been looking for!)
Chat to your midwife if you’ve got any of those problems.
There is no harm in giving it a go. There is no proof that it works! Semen contains a chemical called prostaglandins – which can induce labour, and orgasms are a good way to increase activity down below. But there’s no guarantee. (But you’ll have fun trying to induce labour!)
Are sex toys safe?
The short answer? Yes, of course! Rarely is anything sex-related off limits during pregnancy! Even rough intercourse while your pregnant is OK as long as you’re smart and safe about it.
But sex toys definitely get a green light since, for most of the part, they’re just synthetic versions of the real thing. Some couples find that they enjoy sex toys even more than before, the increased blood flood to genitals, along with hormonal changes, can make orgasms with a sex toy more intense.
If you’re worried about penetration, that’s understandable, but your sex toys aren’t going to be a problem. It’s fine avoid deep penetration with a sex toy but your placenta, cervix and baby are well protected. Your partner thrusting inside you is safe – then so is your sex toy!
A vibrator may be your toy of choice – that’s totally safe too! Using a vibrator on your clitoris? Absolutely safe.
It is important to consider a few things. While the act of using the toy is safe on your body and baby, there are some precautions you can take to keep yourself even safer!
1. Clean your toys
We mean thoroughly. Clean it before and after you use it, just to keep any bacteria from entering your vagina and causing an infection. Clean with warm, soapy water, rinse and dry them careful and then store them in a clean place. You can use our toy cleaner to make this even easier!
2. Don’t switch from vaginal to anal
If you use a toy for anal stimulation or penetration – then this is strictly an anal only toy! No matter how well you clean your sex toy – that bacteria can still be there and potentially cause an infection.
3. Treat it like regular pregnancy sex
The same rules on sex while pregnant apply to using sex toys while pregnant. If you’re bleeding, your cervix is probably just a little irritated and nothing to worry about unless it’s accompanied with cramps or gets heavier. It’s totally safe to orgasm while using sex toys, and any position is fair game, as long as you’re comfortable. Always check with your midwife or health professional if you’re unsure.
Do vibrations hurt the baby?
No! The baby is protected by the amniotic fluid. The baby has no idea what’s going on and definitely won’t remember any of it!
What sex positions are best?
It’s a lot of fun trying different positions whilst pregnant to see which are best and most comfortable. The trick is finding positions that work well round your growing belly, and don’t put pressure on your back and abdomen.
The truth is – everyone is different. Pregnancy is a personal journey. You and your partner should work together to find sexual positions and levels of intimacy that you’re both happy with.
Always remember: When pregnant, you should do everything in moderation, including sex and sex toy use. Just about anything that feels good for you is safe for the baby, as long as your midwife has given you the go ahead. Don’t worry that the baby is “watching” – while your baby might enjoy uterine contractions during orgasm, he or she can’t see what you’re doing and definitely won’t remember it.
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a trained medical professional, the health-related information, is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be a specific diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual situation. Always seek the direct advice of your own midwife in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.
Winter can be depressing enough, but imagine the long dark days plus a recession? Terrible.
Depression can have many contributing factors, and the winter blues is a real condition! Seasonal Affective Disorder – Aptly named SAD by health professionals, strikes over the winter months, possibly due to the lack of daylight. It can affect one in ten people with mild symptoms, and you may not even realise you are affected.
If you’re single and are missing the sunshine, you probably haven’t got the energy for exercise or to go on the pull, but your New Year’s Resolution was to get fit and find that perfect partner! What you need is a New Year’s Resolution that will cure depression, you can easily stick to, that will be inside out of the weather, and is cheap or free. So why not make your New Year’s Resolution to use your vibrator more often! Doctors are pretty much agreed that orgasms and sex are good for your mental and physical health, and can help you to shed the winter weight.
In the past, vibrators and sex toys were prescribed by doctors to treat depression and hysteria. So the premise of orgasms for mental health has been around for a long time and seems to be a proven technique. Orgasms also release pleasure giving endorphins into the body which make you feel better and help fight off depression and grumpiness.
Research has shown that breaking a sweat is always beneficial and raising your heart rate, even for fifteen minutes is beneficial to your mental and physical health. Sex is widely recognized as a great workout and many doctors and fitness experts agree that sexual activity burns calories at a fantastic rate. So what better than spending a little quality time in the warm, either with your partner, trusty vibrator or both! A good orgasm rate will give you a healthy glow and get you through the cold months with a spring in your step and a smile on your face.