Archive for the ‘Ask an Expert’ Category

What is BDSM? 


BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism.

Bondage – refers to the act of restraining someone either with bondage rope, tape, restraints anything that tickles your pickle.
Discipline – Discipline refers to controlling behaviour using set rules often delivered by the dominant partner. Discipline can be enforced with rewards and punishment (all consensual of course!).
Sadism – Sadism refers to receiving pleasure from administrating pain. This can be both physical and emotional.
Masochism – Masochism refers to experiencing pleasure from receiving pain, again this could be physical or emotional. Spanking, biting and public humiliation or all types of pain offered in S&M.

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Sex-Positive A-Z: 26 Sexy Suggestions for 2021


There’s no doubt about it, lockdown has impacted our sex lives. Since March 2020 it has effectively been against the law to sleep with someone unless they live in the same house, causing a national dry spell for both singletons and those living away from their partner.

Rules around overnight stay at another person’s home set to change at step three of the lockdown roadmap, which will be introduced on or after May 17. With this in mind, we collaborated with Gillian Myhill, a sex expert and founder of BARE Dating, to collate a list of 26 scenarios, sex toys, and positions into a sex-positive A-Z to encourage and inspire people to reignite and explore their sexual desires in 2021, and beyond.

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The Beginners Guide to Prostate Stimulation

how to do a prostate massage

For anyone, prostate stimulation for the first time can be a nervous ordeal and the thought can put most people off, but prostate stimulation is nothing to be scared of and can be a very satisfying experience leading to some great orgasms and sexual play whether alone or with a partner. 

Beginners looking to explore the wonders of prostate stimulation, toys such as the Beginner’s Prostate Stimulator and the Vibrating Prostate Stimulator are perfect to start off with, due to their small finger-like sizes as well as being made from smooth, slippery, body-safe silicone, making them very easy to slip inside.

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How to Start Introducing Anal Sex to your Relationship

Anal Sex – Virtually everyone’s heard of it, even people who are disinterested in sex, and yet this glorious form of fornication is still so misunderstood. Something we at Pulse and Cocktails are hoping to change.

As more people become open-minded about trying something new in the bedroom, open and frank discussions about anal sex in the public eye are on the rise. Whether it’s about what anal sex toys to use in the bedroom or how big are the best butt plugs, the public are discussing it. According to many kinky social media and magazine spreads – ‘anal is the new vaginal’ (and we have to agree). That said, there are still many mistruths and misunderstandings about anal sex, so we are here to put a few of them right.

the ultimate guide to anal sex pulse and cocktails

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What It’s Like to be a Real Life Dominatrix

Thanks to the likes of E.L James and her albeit some-what tame fifty shades novels, the UK is waking up and exploring the wonderful world of bondage, fetish, and BDSM play embracing all it’s deepest darkest desires.

One area we find particularly exhilarating is the life of a Dominatrix. From erotic humiliation to latex suits, it seems we are hooked on the professional Domme, so here at Pulse and Cocktails, we have interviewed two real-life dominatrix’s to get a sneak peek into their world to share with you. But first of all, let’s take a look at what a dominatrix and submissive actually is…

what its like to be a dominatrix pulse and cocktails interview main image


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Bondage and BDSM for beginners – Tips on soft to advanced bondage

Have you fantasized about being tied up and spanked? Well if you haven’t, maybe it’s time you started…

The thought of bondage may make you feel like a sex goddess, or want to hide in a corner – but there’s really nothing to be scared of.

What is Bondage?

Essentially bondage refers to a sexual play that involves consensually restraining a partner for sexual pleasure – but really it is so much more! Not only is bondage an exciting way to become kinkier in the bedroom, it is also about building trust and openness in your relationship.

Beginners guide to Bondage guide woman with leather whip

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Kink – A Quick Guide

In recent years many people have become more curious about bondage, wondering how they go about introducing it into their relationship and general play. Many of my customers ask me: “where should they start?” “How will it make things more pleasurable?” “Is there such a thing as a quick guide to kink?” These crucial questions demanded answers, so recently I sat down with local entrepreneur Valen Vain, who is also the creator of Hull’s local fetish night K.E.N to get the expert view on these frequently asked questions, giving you all an insight into BDSM and its benefits, safety aspects and the negative stigma that still surrounds it.

Speaking to Valen was very eye-opening for me; he described BSDM in a way that would never occur to a BSDM novice. I myself had my reservations about using anything restraining or that could possibly cause pain but after this interview, I found myself curious and intrigued by its allure and hopefully this article will too open your eyes and your imagination to so much more when it comes to pleasure.

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How do I use anal sex toys?

Any anal play or insertion can be a fulfilling and rewarding part of anyone’s sex life, whatever your circumstances. For men it can be extremely fulfilling as the prostate is an erotic hotspot, which can trigger instant orgasm. Women can also be greatly aroused by anal penetration, and often enjoy the alternative to vaginal sex.

If you are thinking of trying any type of anal sex or insertion it is vitally important that you take things slowly and use plenty of lubricant. Some form of foreplay is also advisable, such as a slimline sex toy or finger. Some anal sex toys are designed for beginners, with a smaller girth and most do feature a tapered end for easy and gentle insertion. When choosing a toy think about the texture of the surface and avoid anything with rough or sharp edges. Anal beads are ideal, as are very slim vibrators. Butt Plugs are popular because they have a conical form with a pointed end, and a wider base so they help to ease the muscles wider.
Try using the tip of the toy or a finger (make sure you have very short fingernails for this!) to massage a little lubricant into the anus to begin with, and work from there.

Very gently increase the amount of the toy or finger that you insert and do stop or use more lubricant if you feel any pain at all. The gentle movements and lubricant help to relax the tight internal muscles, and once loosened it should be easy and satisfying to use any anal toy or perform anal sex. Vibrators are ideal for anal play as the vibrations help to ease the muscles into a relaxed state quite quickly. Most people will benefit from some form of relaxation or arousal first, which can also help to relax tense muscles.

Do not be put off anal play or sex by other peoples horror stories. Many people are put off anal sex or play by a bad first time experience. This is usually because they have not relaxed the anal muscles enough for penetration, and as a result feel pain or discomfort. there is no reason why this should happen if you have enough foreplay.

Many people prefer to use an anal douche to make sure they are as clean as possible prior to any anal play. This is widely regarded as the best option. Remember it is a good idea to have cleared your bowels well in advance of any contact and make sure you have not just had a large curry!

Not Just Any Rabbit Vibrator

There are particular rabbit vibrator models that offer something different to the standard design, these include the Roaming Rabbit Vibe which features a detachable bullet that can be used separately for stimulation in any place you desire! This creates more sexual play possibilities which is always a good thing.

The Anal Rotator Anal Rabbit is specifically designed for simultaneous vaginal and anal penetration. Fans of DP (Double Penetration) can rest assured this rabbit vibrator can satisfy their needs. The anal vibrator attachment is a slim, tapered vibrator with a bead-like style. The main shaft of the vibrator features rotating internal beads for extra vaginal pleasure and seven different functions.

Perhaps the strangest looking is the Purple Heaven Rabbit Vibrator, which features a purple jelly shaft with tiny jelly ticklers all over it, making it resemble a weird cactus! This toy however is designed to provide an amazing sensation with the tickling of the hairs and the dual motors, one at each end of the shaft, as well as the vibrating bullet which has more of the soft spikes.

Whichever rabbit vibrator you choose, be sure to remember Lubricant and Batteries for your playtime.

What Sex Toy should I buy for my girlfriend?

Our Expert Answers:

If you are looking for a gift for your lady that will help spice up your sex life, why not try a toy especially designed to arouse women? The remote control vibrating egg or the humming butterfly anal vibrator could both give your sex life a new twist. Using the eggs handy wireless remote control whilst out and about or even at the office can lead to even better sex later in the day and beginning to experiment with anal play can revitalise a tired sex life. Remember our motto: couples who play together stay together!

Maybe a sexy gift for the less adventurous would be our sexy outfits and lingerie including the Ooh la la PVC maid outfit and Surprise Sexy Bow Outfits.

If you want to leave a lasting impression on your lady or if you are going away for a period of time and would like her to enjoy her own company, you will could do no better than our Technik Power Rabbit Vibrator which offers seven different functions and six rows of rotating beads for complete pleasure.