Beginner Toys I’d Recommend to Any Bloke

I didn’t think buying my first sex toy would require quite so much staring at a screen.

But there I was.

Tabs open. Products compared. Reviews read. Basket filled.

Then emptied.

Not because there was anything particularly complicated going on. My brain had just decided that buying a sex toy was apparently a significant life decision.

Which, looking back, was slightly dramatic.

I think a lot of blokes get stuck at the same point. You’re curious enough to look, but suddenly there are hundreds of options and everything sounds like it requires either specialist knowledge or considerably more confidence than you currently possess.

What helped me was stopping the search for the best toy.

I started looking for something simple instead.

Something I understood.

Something that didn’t make me feel like I needed to watch a 40-minute tutorial before opening the box.

So if a mate asked me which beginner sex toys for men I’d actually recommend, these are the sorts of things I’d point him towards.

Not because every bloke needs them.

Just because they’re fairly straightforward places to start.

What actually makes a good beginner sex toy?

When I first started looking at men’s toys, I assumed the more features something had, the better it must be.

More settings.

More buttons.

More things apparently happening simultaneously.

To be fair, that logic works when I’m comparing televisions.

It wasn’t particularly helpful here.

For me, a good first male sex toy needed to pass three fairly basic tests.

I wanted to understand what it actually did:

This sounds obvious.

It apparently wasn’t obvious to me at the time.

If I couldn’t work out the general idea from looking at it and reading the description, I probably wasn’t going to feel relaxed using it.

Simple won.

It had to match what I was genuinely curious about:

This is probably the biggest one.

I spent far too much time wondering what men were supposed to buy rather than what actually interested me.

Once I dropped that bit, choosing became much easier.

Here are the three places I’d consider starting.

1. A silicone cock ring

I’ll admit it: I overlooked cock rings at first.

They seemed almost too simple.

Then I realised that was exactly why one made sense as a beginner option.

A silicone stretch ring isn’t covered in buttons or settings. It’s small, straightforward and doesn’t turn trying a toy into some enormous event.

For someone who wants to experiment without moving miles away from what already feels familiar, that can be useful.

And I think that’s something beginners often underestimate.

Your first toy does not need to completely reinvent your sex life.

2. A vibrating masturbator

A masturbator was easier for me to understand immediately.

I could look at one and think:

Right. I understand the general idea here.

That alone made it feel far less intimidating.

Something like a vibrating masturbator takes a familiar type of solo play and adds something different without requiring a completely new approach.

That makes sense to me as a male sex toy for beginners.

The vibration gives you something new to experiment with, but you’re still starting on familiar ground.

One thing I learned fairly quickly was that more intensity isn’t automatically better.

When a toy has different settings, there’s no reason to immediately whack it onto maximum and hope for the best.

Starting lower and working out what feels comfortable is considerably less chaotic.

3. A small vibrating butt plug

This was the category where my brain put up the most resistance.

Not gonna lie.

There was definitely a moment where I looked at the screen and thought:

Right. Are we actually considering this, then?

Most of that hesitation had very little to do with the actual product.

It was all the usual stuff men pick up somewhere along the way about what we’re allowed to be curious about and what apparently says something about our masculinity.

Eventually, I realised I didn’t actually need to answer any of those imaginary questions.

Curiosity doesn’t need a backstory.

For a bloke who is genuinely interested in anal play, a smaller toy designed for beginners can make more sense than immediately choosing something large or complicated.

A product such as this Vibrating Prostate Massager is the sort of thing I’d look at if that was the area I wanted to explore.

There are a few safety things I wouldn’t skip.

Any toy intended for anal use should have a flared base so it cannot travel fully inside the body.

I’d also use plenty of suitable lube, go slowly and stop if anything hurts.

There really is no prize for speed.

What helped me most with this whole category was accepting that trying something doesn’t have to become a statement about who I am.

I could be curious.

I could try it.

The boring stuff that actually makes a difference:

Sex toy articles naturally spend most of their time talking about the toys.

Fair enough.

But some of the least exciting advice ended up being the most useful.

Lube matters:

I massively underestimated this.

Using a suitable lubricant can make toys more comfortable and easier to use.

Water-based lube is where I tend to start because it works with many toy materials, although I’d still check the manufacturer’s guidance for the particular product.

A small amount of preparation is considerably better than spending the first five minutes wondering why everything feels awkward.

Read the instructions:

Yes, I know.

Very exciting.

But different toys have different charging, cleaning, usage and care guidance.

Five minutes reading that information saves quite a lot of guessing.

Clean toys properly:

Again, follow the manufacturer’s instructions.

Keeping toys clean and storing them properly is basic stuff, but it’s worth saying because it’s easy to concentrate entirely on choosing the thing and forget that you’ll also have to look after it.

What I wish I’d known before buying any of them:

I’ve written before about five things I wish someone had told me about men’s pleasure, and buying toys falls into much the same category.

I made it much more complicated than it needed to be.

A few things would have saved me a lot of unnecessary overthinking such as:

• Simple is usually a good place to start.
• Expensive doesn’t automatically mean suitable.
• Lube is worth having nearby.

Buying a sex toy wasn’t nearly as significant as I thought it was:

The first time felt like I was crossing some enormous invisible line.

The second time felt more like buying anything else online.

Although I did still make sure nobody was standing behind me.

Old habits.

So where would I start?

If I wanted the smallest, simplest step, I’d look at something like a silicone stretch ring.

If I wanted something closer to familiar solo play, I’d probably look at a masturbator.

And if anal play was the thing I was genuinely curious about, I’d start small, make sure the toy had a flared base, use plenty of lube and take my time.

There isn’t one correct first sex toy for men.

That was probably the thing I needed someone to tell me.

I didn’t need to buy whatever looked most impressive.

I didn’t need to prove anything.

I just needed to choose something that matched what I was curious about and felt simple enough to try.

Turns out buying a sex toy wasn’t really a big moment.

I just made it one in my head.