The Leeds Walk-In: How Alex & Jen Bought Their First Sex Toy (Without Dying of Embarrassment)

By Jen (& Alex)

“My hand was sweating on the door handle… and then it was just shopping.”

Honestly, I thought walking into a sex shop as a couple would feel like stepping onto a stage. Like everyone would turn around and announce, “LOOK! People having… sex!” (Yes, my brain is dramatic.)

But here’s what actually happened: Alex and I (Jen) walked into Pulse & Cocktails in Leeds on Armley Road, had a tiny wobble in the first aisle, asked one simple question, and walked out with a beginner-friendly sex toys and accessories and a weirdly powerful feeling of, “Oh. We can do new things together.”

If you’re curious but scared, embarrassed, or overwhelmed by the idea of shopping for sex toys in-store, this is your sign. Not to be fearless. Just to be curious.

Before we went in: the very real “What if someone sees us?” moment

We’d spent weeks doing that classic couple thing where you talk about doing something spicy, then immediately get shy about it.

Alex: “We should go together.”
Me: “Yes! So fun!”
Also me, outside the shop: “Why does it feel like I’m about to sit an exam?”

We were stood on Armley Road in Leeds pretending to look relaxed, while both of us were doing mental gymnastics:

• What if the staff laugh at us?
• What if we buy the wrong thing and it’s terrible?
• What if someone we know walks in and we melt into the floor?

Alex tried to break the tension with, “It’s just shopping.”
And I whispered, “Then why do I feel like I’m about to announce my browser history?”

Our 60-second plan (so we didn’t panic-buy)

If you’re nervous, steal this. It helped more than I expected.

1. Budget: “Let’s keep it sensible.”
2. Goal: “One sex toy we’ll actually use.”
3. Exit option: If either of us said “coffee”, we could leave immediately with zero guilt. No pushing. No pouting. No pressure.

Consent is sexy. Even in a shop.

The walk-in: the big reveal no one tells you

We walked in and… nothing happened.

No one stared.
No one gasped.
No one pointed dramatically while a spotlight hit us.

It was bright, organised, and honestly felt like any other retail shop, except the shelves included sexy lingerie, dildos, butt plugs, bondage kits, lubricants, and a few things that made us look at each other and silently agree, “Not today.”

And the staff? Normal. Professional. Calm. The exact opposite of the judgement my anxious brain had invented.

Myth-busters: let’s kill the cringe spirals

Myth: “Everyone will stare at us.”
Reality: We actually had the shop to ourselves. It was quiet, calm, and the only people there were the friendly staff, giving us space to browse without feeling watched.

Myth: “We’ll look inexperienced.”
Reality: Loads of people are beginners. A sex shop isn’t a private members’ club. It’s a shop.

Myth: “We have to buy something.”
Reality: You can browse, ask questions, and walk out. You’re allowed to take your time.

Myth: “It’ll be full-on.”
Reality: There’s a whole world of beginner-friendly sex toys and soft-start bondage gear. You don’t have to go from zero to dungeon.

The first aisle: where beginners should actually start

Here’s a real moment from our first two minutes.

Alex picked up something that looked… ambitious.
I raised an eyebrow.
Alex said, “Just looking.”
I said, “Absolutely not. We are not free-climbing on day one.”

If you’re overwhelmed, the trick is to give yourselves a route. Not a life plan. Just a route.

The beginner route (our Leeds walk-in edition)

If you want to keep it simple, start here:

1. Lubricant
2. Beginner sex toys (small, approachable, not intimidating)
3. Sexy lingerie (if you want that Valentine’s energy)
4. Light bondage kit (only if you’re curious)
5. Toy cleaner (future you will thank you)

You’ll notice what’s missing: pressure. You’re not trying to become a different person. You’re trying to buy something that feels good and fits your comfort level.

The one simple question that changed everything

We did one lap pretending we were extremely confident adults who definitely do this all the time. Then we stopped doing that and asked for help.

Alex (quietly, like he was ordering something illegal):
“Erm… what’s good for beginners?”

I backed him up with:
“We’re shopping together. We want something simple. Not intimidating.”

That’s it. One question. And suddenly the whole shop felt easier.

Use these scripts if you’re shy

You’re allowed to borrow words. Here are some that won’t make you feel like you’re narrating a documentary:

• “We’re new to sex toys. What’s a good first one for couples?”
• “We want something for external stimulation, nothing too intense.”
• “We’re thinking about a dildo, but we don’t know what size is beginner-friendly.”
• “We’re curious about bondage kits. What’s the gentlest place to start?”
• “What lubricant works best with this sex toy?”

If you can order a coffee, you can say one of these. I promise.

What we bought: Alex & Jen’s beginner “starter kit”

This is the part people always want, right? The “Okay, but what did you actually leave with?” section.

We didn’t buy a suitcase of gear. We didn’t buy something terrifying. We built a simple little starter kit that felt exciting but safe.

The starter kit (beginner-friendly, couple-approved)

1) One beginner sex toy
We went for something approachable and not intimidating. Think:

• a small vibrator
• a simple cock ring
• a beginner-friendly dildo

2) Lubricant
This is not optional if you want comfort and confidence. Lubricant makes sex toys feel better, reduces friction, and helps your body relax. (Also: it instantly lowers the “Will this hurt?” worry.)

3) Toy cleaner
Because hygiene should be easy, not a science project. Cleaner makes it quick and removes that “Are we doing this right?” anxiety later.

4) Something sexy (lingerie)
I didn’t expect this part to matter, but it did. Sexy lingerie made it feel like a Valentine’s date, not a nervous shopping mission. Confidence, but wearable.

5) Optional: a light bondage add-on
Not a full-blown bondage dungeon starter pack. More like:

• a blindfold
• soft cuffs
• a gentle bondage kit that’s playful, not scary

If bondage is new, the goal is “fun and safe,” not “endurance sport.”

Our three rules for choosing (so we didn’t overthink)

1. Both people must say yes.
2. Start smaller than your ego wants.
3. Choose what you’re genuinely excited to use, not what you think you “should” buy.

The confidence shift: why we walked out feeling weirdly proud

We stepped outside and the air felt different. Like we’d levelled up. Not because we bought a sex toy, but because we did something mildly scary together without judgement.

We were laughing. Proper laughing.
Alex said, “That was… actually fine.”
And I said, “It was more than fine. We did it.”

Then we looked at the plain, unmarked bag like it was a trophy—no logos, no announcements, just our little secret.

And yes, we were absolutely doing that couples thing where you’re trying to act normal in public while thinking, “We’re going home and having the fun kind of Valentine’s.”

Quick-fire FAQ for embarrassed shoppers

“What if I feel awkward the whole time?”

You might. That’s normal. Awkward doesn’t mean wrong. Go in with a simple plan, take your time, and remind yourself: you’re buying pleasure, not confessing a secret.

“Do we have to talk to staff?”

Nope. You can browse quietly. But if you can manage one sentence, staff can help you avoid buying something that’s too intense or not what you want.

“What if we see someone we know?”

You have three options:

1. Remember: they’re also in a sex shop, so nobody has the moral high ground.
2. Chances are, you won’t see anyone you know
3. The shops aren’t brimming with people, so you’ll likely have plenty of space to browse without feeling watched.

“Is it weird to buy sex toys and lingerie together?”

Not weird. Iconic. It’s Valentine’s. Treat yourselves.

The mini confidence checklist (do this, not that)

Do:

• Start with beginner-friendly sex toys
• Use lubricant (seriously)
• Agree a budget
• Keep communication open
• Laugh if you get nervous

Don’t:

• Buy the biggest dildo in the shop to “prove a point”
• Pressure your partner into a bondage kit because it’s Valentine’s
• Ignore your instincts if something feels like “too much”
• Skip cleaning and then panic later

Ready for your own Leeds walk-in?

Here’s the truth Alex and I learned on Armley Road: the hardest part is the door. After that, it’s just shopping.

You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to be confident. You don’t need to act like a porn star. You just need to take one step, ask one simple question if you want to, and choose something that feels good for both of you.

Want to do your own low-pressure shop trip?
Use the Pulse & Cocktails store locator and check the Leeds (Armley Road) listing. If you’re not in Leeds, you can find your nearest location and make it your own little Valentine’s date.

Go on. Be curious. Be kind to yourselves. And remember: buying a sex toy together isn’t embarrassing. It’s intimate. And honestly? It’s a bit of a power move.