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15 January 2024
Emily Graham

4 Masturbation Positions You Need to Know this Blue Monday

shocked woman against blue background

Are you feeling a little down? Your friends at Pulse & Cocktails have collected 4 masturbation positions to increase your self-love and beat off Blue Monday! Grab your favourite rabbit vibrator and lube up your masturbator, because this Monday is going to be different…

 

What exactly is Blue Monday?

Blue Monday is said to be the most depressing day of the year taking place every 3rd or 4th January to dampen our moods after the festive holidays. A combination of bad weather, broken New Year’s Resolutions, and the end of Christmas celebrations creates the perfect cocktail for arguably the worst day of the entire year.

Of course, there are no actual life-altering factors at play which make Blue Monday actually feel blue. But, there’s much to be said about how external factors can affect our mental well-being and knock us off our game so early into the year.

Luckily, with the stresses of Blue Monday also comes solutions, and one of our favourite ways to improve mood is of course – you guessed it – masturbating!

 

Why do masturbation positions matter?

As we’ve explored many times in our masturbation research, solo sex helps to release feel-good chemicals in our brains and improve mood. Exploring our bodies is crucial to sexual satisfaction, and it not only helps you but also your partner to discover the best ways to get you off.

Sticking to the same masturbation position may make it easier for you to finish, but it also robs you of the opportunity to discover new techniques for pleasure! You never know – you might find a new favourite…

 

The rise and grind

rise and grind 1/4 masturbation positions
Keeping with the Monday theme, the last thing we want to do in the morning is get up. However, wouldn’t it be so much easier to drag ourselves out of bed with our hearts racing with energy after a good orgasm? We certainly think so…

The rise and grind is a masturbation position best performed in the morning before you even get out of bed. Keeping your favourite vibrator next to your bed, all you have to do is reach over and position it between your legs while you grind your way into morning bliss.

Top tip: Once you’ve had your wonderful morning orgasm, take your toy into the bathroom with you and wash it before you brush your teeth, then you can place it to dry and it’ll be ready and waiting for you that night to put back into your bedside drawer for the next morning.

 

Phone freak

phone freak 2/4 masturbation positions
We get it, scrolling through your phone first thing in the morning is one of the many ways most of us start our routine. But what if you swapped your morning cat video for some saucy porn?

This masturbation position aims to help you swap out that bad habit of scrolling on your phone every morning or every night before you go to sleep. Replacing this habit a few nights a week with a feel-good solo session can not only improve your mood and sleep but will also cut down on your screen time.

 

Hands-free hero

hands-free hero 3/4 masturbation positions
It’s Blue Monday. We all want to be doing less, not more! Luckily the hands-free hero is the perfect position for those who like to keep their effort to a minimum. Don’t want to have to manually move your dildo? Try out a wireless toy for hands-free fun you can control by just the touch of a button.

Our favourite remote controlled toys

Bathtub blues

bathtub blues 4/4 masturbation positions
Had a long day at work? Sometimes all you need is a long warm bath… and a good orgasm. 

Baths and showers are a great way to mix up your masturbation positions, providing additional sensations by letting the warm water encase your body. Not to mention, you can clean up at the same time as getting dirty…

We recommend having a glass of your favourite wine nearby, and some sensual music to make the bathtub blues that more relaxing.

 

Not ready for a new masturbation position? Explore more information about masturbation in our blogs below:

Sexual Health – Should you worry about masturbating too much?

The Benefits of Masturbation and Why You Should Do It More